The Long Journey
by Linz005
Summary: Christian is faced with illness following Satine's death, but sometimes obstacles are only the beginning of life's journey. Rating is just to be safe. R&R(No Flames).
1. One

A/N: I needed a break from some of my other stuff and wrote this.I'm not sure if its done or not yet.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.But I like to mess around with the characters.  
  
Warnings: No flames please for the pairings (Christian/OC). I love Christian and Satine, but there's only so many ways to go about a story.  
  
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Life means little when you've lost everything you've ever truly cared about. That was Christian's life now. He didn't care about anything, not even his life. He doubted that he had much of his life left anyway. He sat on the train making his way back to England and the family that had always tried to smother him. It didn't matter now. He was smothering himself now, slowly. Christian tried to take a deep breathe as he sat on the train, but it immediately caught in his throat. He felt the coughing beginning and then blood filled his mouth. Once he had found out about the cause of Satine's death, he knew it was likely inevitable that he would soon become ill.  
  
He knew that his father, a doctor, would help him if he came home ill. He didn't want to be helped, but knew that Satine would insist on it if she were there and her last words kept playing in his head. There maybe weeks or even days of lectures about unheeded warnings, but Christian didn't care. He didn't care if he died either, but he did not want it to be on some street in Paris. Most of the Bohemians were dispersing or falling ill themselves from their varying addictions, anyway, including Toulouse leaving few connections there so Christian thought that he might as well seek his former home.  
  
The coughing subsided. If anyone had been watching him he hadn't been paying attention. Finally the train stopped and Christian stepped off to begin the long journey home. He walked silently with only a little coughing. Mostly he felt short of breath or as though he couldn't breathe at all. It was a frightening feeling that sent a chill down his spine and every time it happened he thought of Satine, about how she must have felt at that terrible moment when she got this feeling and then nothing.  
  
Christian paused a moment on the front step before knocking on the door. He imagined how different he must look now compared to when he left. He had lost his appetite as a result of the illness and had lost considerable weight. He was paler than he had ever been before and his eyes had dark circles under them. He had never noticed these things with Satine, but then again she was thin already and pale as far as that went. She wore make-up, which would have lessened the difference in her appearance and he had never known her when she wasn't sick.  
  
Finally, he knocked on the large door. His father's office was in the house and generally his mother answered the door and directed patients to the office. Today was no different.  
  
"Yes?" She said pausing as though she didn't recognize him at all. "Christian?" She finally said. Christian smiled slightly and his mother rushed to hug him. Christian pushed her away.  
  
"Mother, please don't. I must speak to Father immediately." She nodded with some confusion and began to lead him toward the parlor. "No, Mother, in his office." His mother looked closer at him and shook her head.  
  
"Christian, what is the matter?" Christian was tired already from trying to get into his father's office. He took a deep breath, which of course resulted in a coughing fit. He couldn't control it. His mother approached him from the side, but Christian put his arm up to stop her. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his mouth. His mother immediately stopped asking questions and led him immediately to the office.  
  
"Hello, Father." He said once he had entered. Charles James turned around to face his son. He was already for this day, but now that he saw his son before him, Charles knew that he was ill and all the speeches in the world were completely gone.  
  
"Is it."His father trailed off already knowing almost conclusively what was wrong with Christian.  
  
"Tuberculosis. I didn't know where else to go. I don't know much about what to do for it." Mr. James nodded.  
  
"Come with me." He led Christian to a room in the back. It was a hospital style room that Mr. James kept for very ill patients. He never thought his own son would be lying there. Charles then returned to the parlor with his distraught wife.  
  
"What will you do for him?"  
  
"He has a good place to sleep tonight back there and he can get some rest. I will contact a friend of mine who works at the Thornhill Sanitarium in the United States. If he will go, he will be much better off. The trip may be difficult for him, but not impossible. I've seen many victims of this disease much worse off then he is at this point. He may recover. I knew this would happen."  
  
Christian laid back on the hospital-like bed. His father left him alone with several blankets and all the things he would need to be comfortable. Charles had said very little to him saying only that he would make arrangements for him, whatever that meant, and bring him something to eat later.  
  
In the silence of the room, his thoughts began to gather. Lying with his eyes closed, the future seemed to unfurl before his eyes. It all appeared very bleak and hopeless. He would die the same as Satine had. He wondered when it would happen, if he would even see another day. "Better dead, then alone." He said softly. "Or living like this." He struggled to fall asleep flooded by memories of Satine. Over and over he heard her last words in his head.  
  
"I may really not be able to go on my love." In the immense silence, he could hear voices in the main part of his house. One was his younger sister Cecily. He had written her only once, but she still seemed eager to see him. Tears filled his eyes as he thought of seeing her now in his current state. The James's tried to convince her to stay where she was, but she demanded she be allowed to see him and find out what had happened.  
  
"Very well, Cecily, but I ask that you keep your distance from him. You will find him much altered." Cecily ran back into the office. She wasn't really prepared to see him. Her parents told her nothing of his illness. She thought he was merely waiting for Charles in the back.  
  
"Christian!" She called cheerfully, but when she turned into the door she was shocked to find her brother lying on the bed. "Christian.wh.what happened? What's the matter?" He sat up and looked at her frightened expression.  
  
"It's alright Cecily. I'm fine and I'm still your brother, I'm still Christian." He smiled suppressing his tears deep within his heart. "I am just sick and I want you to listen to Father and keep your distance. Do you understand?" Cecily looked at him with confusion.  
  
"No, I don't understand. How sick are you.What do you have.." She began crying softly while asking the questions. "Why didn't you come back sooner.Answer me." Christian let a few tears escape his eyes.  
  
"I didn't know until a small time ago. Please, don't be upset with me I could not bare that. I am very sick, Cecily that is why you must ensure that you stay away so as not to get sick. I have."He barely knew how to say the word to her. "Tuberculosis." Cecily gasped.  
  
"How did you get this?" She pleaded with him.  
  
"I will tell you, but you mustn't tell Mother or Father. Do you understand?" She nodded still crying silently.  
  
"I met an amazingly wonderful woman in Paris named Satine. She was ill, but I didn't know that she had tuberculosis. I don't think she even knew. She's gone now." Christian fell silent as Charles entered.  
  
"Cecily, you must go now." Charles said gruffly, but compassionately. Once she was gone he turned to Christian. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"I think we both know the answer to that Father. I feel better, though, I suppose, seeing Cecily and you said you would help me." He paused. "But I didn't understand what you meant by arrangements."  
  
"I have contacted a friend of mine in the United States. He will be reserving a bed for you at the Thornhill Sanatorium. You will have the best chance for survival. I have also arranged for you to have a first class boat ticket to get there. You will be as comfortable as you are here." Christian almost wanted to laugh. Best chance of survival.he never thought he would hear words like that.  
  
"What do they do for someone like me?" Christian had no idea what treatment was available. Obviously Satine had never had treatment and despite his father's profession Christian had never had contact with this kind of a patient. He didn't know what if anything could be done for him. Nothing had been done for Satine and surely Zidler if no one else knew of her condition.  
  
"Well, they will give you medicines and treatments for your lungs and to prevent the coughing. They also create the proper environment for dealing with the disease. It's more than I could do for you and probably safer for other people." Christian nodded and then he felt that same feeling in his chest. He began to violently cough blood rushing into his mouth. His father looked at him with weary eyes.  
  
"Christian," Charles said as the coughing subsided. "I want to talk to you about what happened."He cleared his throat. "I cannot say that I still think I was wrong with what I told you, but I never wished something like this to happen to you. I want you to get well."  
  
"Is that possible? Will I get well or am I leaving to die?" Christian said bluntly.  
  
"There's no cure if that's what you mean. It can be stopped, though, become dormant." Christian cleared his throat this time and of course got a small of blood in his mouth. "That doesn't mean it can't or won't come back. It will likely be what."  
  
"Kills me." Christian finished Charles's question. He closed his eyes and touched his fingers to his temples. He then ran his hand through his hair. "When do I leave?"  
  
"Tomorrow. I sent one of the servants to get your ticket. You'll sail first class to the United States. You'll be taken from there to the sanitarium. Sleep now. Rest. That will be vital to your recovery." Charles stood to leave when he was outside of the door he almost began to cry. "God save my son." 


	2. Two

Christian left early the next morning accompanied by his father. He boarded the ship and spent most of the trip in his cabin avoiding other people for obvious reasons. Time seemed to move much too quickly now that Christian was running out of it. Before long he was there and in even less time he was almost at the sanitarium. He hadn't lost too much more weight and he seemed to be looking about the same. The coughing fits came in spurts, but hadn't worsened. He was immediately met by a car and it drove for a long time into the middle of nowhere.  
  
The car climbed a long driveway and then the building came into view. It wasn't overly impressive nor was broken down. A nurse met Christian at the door and brought him inside. Immaculately sterile corridors stretched in every direction. Christian would soon find that each led to a different ward. There were four main wards. One was for children where all the children slept in a hospital still room where the beds lined the walls. There was one for women and one for men that was in the same style and then one ward reserved for the more financially inclined residents.  
  
It was in that ward that Christian was brought. It was evident that his father had handed over a large sum of money for this room. It was still very much like a hospital room, but obviously more private. He was given a list of rules. He was allowed to walk the halls freely since he was an adult, but was expected to be in his room by eleven. Meals were served at eight, noon, and six and no resident was allowed to skip a meal. He was allowed to go on the grounds when the doctors told him that he could.  
  
Next Christian was taken to a doctor for a full examination. The doctor didn't say much, but merely made lots of notes on a chart. He then gave Christian a brief run down of his diagnosis. "It appears Mr. James that you are still in the fairly early stages of this disease. In order, to prevent your symptoms from getting worse, I think it best that you remain in doors for the time being. As far as treatment, I think that blood letting may be enough. We will try that now and then see what happens. If not we will move up to other treatments."  
  
Christian sat while the doctor bled him. He felt no better following this treatment, but rather felt incredibly weak. He returned to his room and emptied his suitcase before lying down. He ran his hands through his hair. He felt warm despite the fact that it was freezing in the entire hospital. He figured he had a fever. It wasn't the first time since he had fallen ill. Just as he was beginning to fall asleep a nurse came to get him for lunch.  
  
Christian groggily made his way to the dining room. It was already fool of people of all ages, boys and girls, men and women. He approached what was apparently a line to get some disgusting substance they tried to pass off as food. He felt chills run down his spine, looking over he saw that a window was opened. He shivered making his way to a table where no one was sitting.  
  
"Do you mind if I sit with you?" Someone said with a somewhat hoarse voice. Christian shook his head and motioned to the chair as he tried to eat some of the food. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Christian looked up at the girl for the first time. She was young and looked frail, but then again so did he. She smiled at him. "You must be freezing, too." She said looking at what he was wearing in comparison to what she was wearing. She had on the type of clothes that one wears when going out on a winter's day like this.  
  
"Why do they have a window open? Aren't they supposed to be trying to make us better not worse?" Christian said bitterly.  
  
"They say that they are. The fresh, cold air is good for us. Plus they think it keeps the staff from getting sick. You'll get used to that too." She took a bite of the food swallowing hard partially from the pain in her throat and chest and partially because she didn't really want to eat it.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm being terribly rude. My name is Christian James. And you are?"  
  
"My name is Bianca Martin. You're from England." He nodded. "How long have you been sick?"  
  
"Not that long, I suppose. How about you?"  
  
"Long enough. I've been here for two years, but it hasn't progressed much. Unfortunately, it hasn't gotten any better either. It's not so bad here. I just want to go home before I die." She said with a hint of sadness in her voice. "I haven't seen my family since I got here. They say they can't get away from the farm that they run." She paused eating a little more. "Is it true that you have a private room?"  
  
"Yes, but how did you know?"  
  
"Well, all of the kids have been talking about the handsome new man who has a private room. There were two new people today and I saw the other man already. You were the only one to meet the description." Christian laughed lightly and coughed a couple of times.  
  
"How old are you, Miss Martin?"  
  
"Please let's not be so formal. Hopefully we'll be friends while we're here." She smiled. "I am eighteen years old and have been sick since I was sixteen. So basically I have done very little with my life, but I know there is still an adventure for me somewhere." She finished eating and waited for Christian to finish. They then went for a walk.  
  
"I haven't talked to a person for this long in a while." Christian said matter-of-factly as they walked along the halls. "I was afraid of getting them sick or of them finding out I was sick."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I remember right after I got sick no one would come near me or even my family's house. That's why they sent me away. The only nice part about being here is that we can't get each other sick. It's a bit late for that. I mean the staff is always at risk, but we don't have to worry about each other. I've had some wonderful friends here."  
  
"Had?" She nodded silently.  
  
"They're all gone now. Several died, but some were dormant and sent home. I'm the only one left of the children from when I came here. The doctor's say they want to move me into the adult women's ward, but there are no beds. They didn't anticipate me hanging around so long I guess. What did you do before?"  
  
"I was a writer in Paris." Christian said sadly remembering what had happened only a short time ago.  
  
"Paris! I've always wanted to go there!" Her excitement led to a coughing fit. She coughed hard into her hand and eventually fell to her knees short of breath. Christian knelt down beside her placing a hand on her back trying to comfort her. Bianca moved her hand from her mouth afterward and of course blood was visible in her palm. Christian reached into his pocket for a handkerchief she could wipe her hand with.  
  
A small line of blood had run from her mouth down her chin. Just seeing it frightened Christian bringing his mind back to that fateful night at the Moulin Rouge. He wiped the line away with his hand and then embraced Bianca who was trembling slightly. She hugged him back. "It's alright. I'm alright. It happens all the time. You know that." Christian looked into her eyes that looked so tired.  
  
"I'm sorry. Come with me. We can talk more in my room and we can both rest." She nodded quietly. Christian seemed almost as shaken up by what had happened as she was. As they walked she silently placed her hand in his. He said nothing trying to clear his mind. When they got to the room they both sat down on the bed.  
  
"How did you get sick, Christian?"  
  
"The woman I loved was sick, but I didn't know it and then she was gone and I was sick." He left out most of the details too tired to rehash everything that had happened. "What about you?"  
  
"They think that it can be spread by some animals like rabbits. They think I got it that way." Bianca said with a look of distance in her eyes. "This should never happen," She said with a few tears in her eyes. "We shouldn't be here and she shouldn't be gone. I hate wondering if I'm going to die. It hurts to breathe and even more to cough. I am completely alone and I don't want to die that way."  
  
"You're not alone. I'm here. I won't let that happen to you. It isn't right. You're too young to be here alone. Your family should be with you." He put his arms around her tightly. She closed her eyes for a moment leaning against his chest. Then the tears ceased to fall and she shakily took a breath.  
  
"I'm sorry, Christian. You don't need this. I should go. Thank you for everything, though." She began to stand up, but Christian reached for her arm. She turned back to face him.  
  
"Don't go. It isn't your fault." She reluctantly sat down. "So you've always wanted to go to Paris." She smiled a half-smile and nodded. "It's a beautiful city. I lived in Montmartre. Will you go if you go home?" He tried to choose his words carefully.  
  
"I don't know. I would like to, but my parents would never let me go and I don't have the money for that kind of a trip." Christian smiled at her.  
  
"Well, if we both get better I promise to take you to Paris, Bianca." She laughed. Christian didn't even know her. "I'm serious and if I don't get better then I will see that you still get to go." He kissed her forehead. Bianca was a sweet girl and Christian couldn't help, but feel badly for her. 


	3. Three

Shortly after Christian's promise to Bianca, a nurse came to get Bianca for an appointment with the doctor. Apparently they had been looking everywhere for her. Christian said that he would see her afterward. He laid down for a little while and then walked the halls again. He couldn't believe he had only been here for a few hours. He promised himself that he would take care of Bianca as long as he was there. He wondered what had happened at her appointment. He took the chance that she might be back in the Children's Ward.  
  
He walked past the door and looked in. When he saw Bianca lying on one of the beds, he got very worried. He wondered what they had done to her. He walked in and was greeted by a few of the nurses. There were several other adults in the ward playing with the young children. He walked over to Bianca's bed and sat on the chair beside it.  
  
"Hi." She said softly and drowsily. "What are you doing here?" She smiled at him.  
  
"I came to see how you're appointment with the doctor went. Are you feeling worse now?"  
  
"You know how it is. One minute you're fine and the next you feel horrible. I just haven't been having the best day today. You saw my coughing fit in the hall before and then when I went to see the doctor he took some blood." She lifted her shirt sleeve so that he could see the marks on her arm. "Now I'm just tired." Christian looked worried. "I'm really alright. Don't worry. What about yourself? Aren't you exhausted after the trip?"  
  
"I'm always tired anymore. Always coughing and always hurting for that matter." He leaned onto the edge of the bed and looked in her tired eyes.  
  
"Your eyes." She said still in a half asleep tone. Christian smiled.  
  
"What about them?"  
  
"They're so beautiful," Bianca reached her hand to his face and brushed a strand of his hair out of his face. "And sad." Christian looked away trying to hide what she had already seen. She turned his face back to hers and smiled at him warmly. They sat in silence for a while and then a nurse came over telling them they had to go to dinner now. Bianca pulled herself to her feet and took a deep breathe coughing only a little afterward, not nearly like before.  
  
She took a few tired steps and then Christian offered Bianca his arm more for her to lean on than as any other kind of gesture. She looked at him with an expression that simply said thank you. She sat down and Christian brought her back her food. "Not that I'm not unbelievable grateful for all of your help, but is there any particular reason why?" Christian thought about her question for a long moment.  
  
"Like I told you before, I didn't know how sick the woman I loved was before she died. I should have realized but I didn't. I couldn't help her because I didn't know, but now I have a chance to help someone." She smiled.  
  
"What was her name?"  
  
"Satine." Christian hadn't spoken her name in such a long time.  
  
"That's a beautiful name."  
  
"She was beautiful and special and everything to me." Bianca felt bad for bringing up what was clearly a sore subject for him.  
  
"She'd be proud of you for helping me I bet." He smiled in thanks. She forced down some of the food. "I have absolutely no appetite." She said wearily knowing that if she didn't eat enough of it they wouldn't let her leave. Christian pushed some of the food around not really hungry either. "You know what I wish more than? That I could sleep in my own bed tonight instead of listening to all the little kids crying and coughing."  
  
"What time do you have to be in the Children's Ward?"  
  
"Ten o'clock. My curfew time is the same as the adults since I'm older."  
  
"Well, I can't help you with the sleeping in your own bed at home, but I think I can do something for you. Come with me." Christian said as he stood to leave. They had both forced enough of the food down that no one stopped them from walking out. Christian brought her back to his room. He walked over to the bed and folded down the blankets. "Lay down and try to get some sleep for awhile with no one, but possibly me, coughing and no one crying."  
  
"No. Don't you want to lay down?" Christian shook his head.  
  
"No. I think I'm going to try to write for a little while anyway. I'm feeling inspired. Besides, I can sleep in here any time I want." Bianca reluctantly laid down. Very shortly after, she was asleep and Christian was sitting at his typewriter which he had of course brought with him.  
  
He thought about the day, it felt like a year. His connection with Bianca was obviously going to be a strong one. She knew what it felt like to be alone and dying. He really meant what he said. He would see that she went to Paris. He doubted he would get better, but maybe this would give her a reason to get well.  
  
Christian typed several poems over the next few hours. At nine thirty he woke Bianca gently. "Did you sleep well?" She smiled.  
  
"Almost too well. Felt like home. Did you write anything?" She looked over at the stack of papers. He nodded.  
  
"Just some poetry. Nothing special."  
  
"May I read them or are they strictly for you?" He shrugged.  
  
"They're yours if you want them." Christian handed her the stack of papers. All of the events of the day were beginning to catch up with him. He knew it was time for him to go to bed. "They aren't very good, but I'm very tired." Bianca nodded.  
  
"I'll leave you alone then to sleep. They'll be looking for me anyway. I'll see you tomorrow then." She wondered what he would say. Maybe Christian had bored of her company already, but he nodded.  
  
"Yes, I'll find you at breakfast tomorrow morning." She hugged him goodnight. "Do you want me to walk you back to the Children's Ward?" She shook her head no and took the papers with her.  
  
She walked to back to her ward unsteadily still exhausted. She walked over to her bed and put the poems under her pillow. Bianca was too tired to look at the papers now. Even with her long nap in Christian's room, she longed for a silent night in her own room. The room was already dark and the small children were all asleep. She thought of Christian and dozed off into sleep happier than she had been in a while. 


	4. Four

Bianca woke up coughing the next morning much earlier than she would have liked. She did take advantage of it, though, and read Christian's poems. They were so beautiful, sad, but beautiful. They were all about lost love and hopelessness. He was so incredibly talented; she intended to make a point of telling him when she saw him. She got up and changed her clothes so that she could head to breakfast.  
  
She sat down where she had sat with Christian the day before and began to eat waiting for Christian to come down. Just before she was finished Christian came in. He looked more tired than he had the day before. She waved to him and tried to give him a warm smile. Christian was dressed much more like the other patients were in heavy winter-like clothes.  
  
"Hello." He said when he sat down with his disgusting food.  
  
"Hi, how did you sleep?" Bianca asked him.  
  
"Not very well. The more tired I got the less I could sleep and then of course I started coughing." Bianca nodded in understanding. She had had the happen many times before. "How about you?"  
  
"I slept alright until this morning. I woke up coughing.a lot." She added a little sadly and a little scared. "It was good in one way, however. It gave me a chance to read you're poetry."  
  
"Oh, really. So what did you think?" Christian asked as he tried to finish eating. He hadn't shown anything he had written to anyone since Satine died. He wondered if he was even any good anymore.  
  
"I thought they were absolutely wonderful. I've never read anything like them before. Have you had any of it published?"  
  
"No. I wrote a play that was preformed in Paris for a while, but I only stayed for one performance." He looked down trying to shake the thought from his mind of the whole incident. "I haven't tried to get anything published yet."  
  
"You should." Christian shrugged modestly, but smiled a little. "Honestly, you're.you're very talented." Christian looked up. He couldn't believe that Bianca had chosen those exact words. Satine had said that to him after they had pitched Spectacular, Spectacular to the Duke. He felt a stab of pain deep within his heart.  
  
"I'm sorry. What did you say?"  
  
"I said you're very talented. Is something the matter?"  
  
"No, but I have to go. I'm sorry." Christian stood up abruptly and walked off quickly. Bianca assumed he would go back to his room, but she didn't want to bother him. She wondered what she had said to upset him so. She sullenly headed back to the Children's Ward and sat on her bed looking at the pages Christian had written.  
  
Christian collapsed onto his bed crying softly. He didn't like being reminded of Satine. No matter how good the memory was like that moment when she had said he was talented and then he convinced her to believe in love, it always led his mind back to their last moments together.  
  
** "Tell.Tell our story, Christian."  
  
"No.  
  
"Yes. Promise me. Promise me. That way, I'll.I'll always be with you." **  
  
When he remembered this he remembered that he hadn't fulfilled his promise to her. That hurt him most of all. He didn't want to let her down, but it was too hard for him to write it all down.  
  
Bianca gathered the papers together and asked one of the nurses for a piece of paper and something to write with. She wanted to apologize to Christian for whatever she did wrong. She wrote him a quick note on the sheet of paper.  
  
Dear Christian,  
I'm sorry if I said something that upset you. It was in no way my intention. I hope that I will see you soon and that we can still be friends. I thought I should give these back to you. I am truly sorry.  
  
Sincerely,  
Bianca  
  
She placed the letter on top of the poems and walked quietly to Christian's room. She tried to be as quiet as possible slipping the edge of the papers under his door. She walked away quickly back to her room.  
  
Christian thought that he heard a noise at his door. He ignored it not wanting to talk to or see anyone. He knew that if it were a nurse or doctor they would have come in no matter what he did or didn't do. He was finally forced to get up when his body was racked with the most horrific coughing fit he had had to date. Before he knew it he was sitting on the ground leaning against the wall gasping for breath. He sat on the floor with his head in his hands desperately trying to breathe.  
  
"I don't know how long I can take this, Satine." He whispered. "It would be different if you were here, but you aren't. I can't do it not even for you. I can't go on." He slowly made his way to his feet still struggling to breathe. He took a few steps and then saw the papers stuffed under the door. He reached for them wearily and returned to his bed.  
  
He took the note off the top and read it carefully. He felt horrible about what had happened. Christian hadn't even thought what effect the incident would have on Bianca. She and Christian were supposed to be friends and now he had already upset her. "The poor girl," He thought to himself. "I'm sure the last thing she needs is this with how sick she is."  
  
He tried to cover up his fatigued appearance as he walked down the hall to find her. Bianca was sitting on her bed looking out the window absently. Christian walked over to her and when she saw him her eyes brightened. "I was afraid you were still angry with me. Are you?" Christian smiled and shook his head.  
  
"I wasn't angry with you. It was nothing." He handed her the poems again. "I told you these were yours if you wanted them." She took them back and gave him a small hug.  
  
"I was afraid you weren't going to come back and talk to me anymore. I mean there aren't many people who really talk to me and I know I would miss not talking to you." She pulled her legs up and to the side so that Christian could sit down across from her on the bed. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Oh you know, I'm fine, I'm fine." He trailed off trying to convince her that nothing was wrong.  
  
"Yeah you sound really fine. You can tell me if something happened. It isn't like I haven't been there before. You look more tired now than you did yesterday when you arrived." She spoke, but he didn't answer her. Bianca coughed lightly into her hand. "Anything else on your mind?"  
  
"Nothing special..." Christian looked as though he were about to say something else when suddenly he gasped for breathe. Bianca was utterly frightened as Christian tried to breathe, but couldn't. He wasn't even coughing when it happened.  
  
"Christian, Christian?!" She frantically called. "Nurse, Someone? I need help!" She screamed forcing herself not to cough from screaming. A nurse ran over quickly while another ran for a doctor. Christian was unconscious. When the doctor got there Bianca was pushed out of the way.  
  
"He's breathing." The doctor said emotionlessly. "Let's get him to the infirmary." Bianca tried to follow, but was told to stay where she was. She didn't want to. When ever a patient was taken to the part of the sanitarium known as the infirmary, it usually meant they weren't going to be coming back. Bianca didn't want him to be alone. 


	5. Five

She waited impatiently for the nurses to come back so that she could ask about Christian. They didn't return until Bianca came back from lunch. Christian hadn't been there and Bianca knew that meant this was more than just a little breathing problem. She immediately asked the nurse about him.  
  
"Is Christian James alright?"  
  
"He's unconscious still, but the doctor was looking after him." The nurse was distracted by a small child getting into some trouble and walked away from Bianca. No one, in fact, was paying much attention to her. She walked toward the door and made a beeline to the infirmary. She looked to see that no one was around and then carefully snuck into the room.  
  
There were several patients lining the room, most she didn't recognize. Some had family members with them since they weren't expected to live long. Bianca tried to look as though she belonged there and walked to Christian's bedside and sat at the chair. His chest moved with his labored breaths. His countenance was pale highlighted only by the darkness under his eyes. She almost cried, but didn't want to draw attention to herself.  
  
Christian laid there motionless save the movements of his chest. That movement did relieve Bianca a little though. At least he was breathing and hopefully he wasn't in a lot of pain. His hand rested on the bed and she gently took his hand into hers.  
  
"Please wake up Christian. I want to get to know you better. I need a friend, Christian. You just got here. I won't let you leave me this soon." She said softly to him. "You must hold on and come back to me. Who will take me to Paris if you don't?" She said with a soft laugh and smile. "Open your eyes, please." She said the last word a little more pleadingly than the others.  
  
Hours passed and there was no change. Bianca thought that a doctor would come in to check on them, but one hadn't so far. A few of the other visitors had left, but many remained. Bianca kept his hand in hers. There was a row of windows on the other side of the room and through them she saw the increasing darkness outside. She had heard the others passing in the halls on their way to dinner, but she wouldn't leave unless she was dragged away.  
  
A door toward the opposite end of the infirmary opened. A doctor emerged and began looking in on each one of the patients. Bianca sat steadfast holding his hand. "Young lady, what are you doing here?" The doctor asked sternly.  
  
"I don't want him to be left alone. He is a friend of mine." She said earnestly. She hoped the doctor wouldn't recognize her as a patient, but soon that hope was shattered.  
  
"Is your name by chance Bianca Martin?" He asked as he went about checking Christian's vitals.  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"Everyone in the Children's Ward has been looking for you since you missed dinner. You should get back before you get reprimanded for disobeying the rules." She continued holding his hand.  
  
"I can't do that, doctor. Christian needs someone to be with him when he wakes up. He has no family nearby and he hasn't been here very long, which means that I am his closest acquaintance in the entire country let alone this hospital."  
  
"I suppose that is a hard argument to beat. I'll allow you to stay until curfew then you have to leave." She nodded and thanked him politely. She pulled the chair close to his bed and leaned her head on the bed. She kissed his hand.  
  
"Please wake up, Christian." Bianca said quietly. She must have dozed off at some point. She woke up to the most beautiful sound she had ever heard in the world, Christian's voice. It was altered slightly and sounded gravelly and less dynamic, but he was still speaking. He was answering the doctor's questions that had apparently come to examine him.  
  
"Thank god you're alright." She said with great relief in her voice finally letting go of his hand.  
  
"Hello to you too. I didn't want to wake you. I figured you needed your rest and all." He smiled as she sat up waking up a little more. The doctor walked away without saying anything to her. Bianca was sure he would tell her to leave now. It had to be passed ten o'clock. "I told him to leave you alone and since my father apparently paid quite a bit of money to get me a room here he was more than happy to oblige."  
  
Before Bianca knew it she was crying. It was almost inaudible and it was a mix of joy and despair. "When they brought you here, to this room, I thought for sure that it was all over. I didn't want to lose you so soon or ever for that matter." She leaned over to hug him not caring how he would react. He hugged her back though he was understandably weak.  
  
"It's alright now. It doesn't matter what happened. It isn't all over. I still have a few things to do with my life." Coughed lightly and then added, "Like taking you to Paris." Christian smiled at her and added silently, "and write Our Story Satine."  
  
"You should go to sleep, Christian." Bianca said after they had sat in a pleasant silence for a few minutes. She touched his cheek and stood to go.  
  
"Don't go. Stay, if you want." Though Christian hadn't admitted it before the events of the day had shaken him considerably. Dying didn't seem like such a wonderful solution. He didn't really want to die and he didn't want to be alone.  
  
"Only if you promise to get some sleep." Bianca added. Christian promised he would go to sleep. She placed the chair back where it had been and laid her head on the bed near his hand. She held it as she had before as she dozed off.  
  
Christian stared off into the darkness, embracing Bianca's hand. When she was asleep he carefully moved his hand out of hers. He stroked her head gently and looked at her for a long moment. He wondered what he was doing. Why he had let her in? He felt that the truth was he still believed in love above all things. Satine was gone and he had stopped loving for a long time, but he couldn't shut it out forever as he wanted. 


	6. Six

He thought of something Toulouse had said to him just before Toulouse left due to his failing health: "Things will happen in your life that you can't stop, but that is no reason to shut the world out." Still he wondered if wherever she was, Satine was looking down on him and being hurt by his growing connection with this girl. Christian wondered if this was like cheating on her.  
  
Several weeks passed, more quietly then those first days. He spent a lot of time with Bianca who had visited for almost the entire amount of time that he was in the infirmary. Once he was out of there, Christian returned to his room and his typewriter writing little poems that he usually gave to Bianca. Then he finally decided he couldn't put it off anymore. He owed it to Satine so he began writing their story. It was heart wrenching to relive every second of the painful moments and almost more painful to relive the happy loving moments.  
  
It was done though now. Christian had fulfilled his obligation to his Sparkling Diamond and now nothing bound him to this world. But then again there was Bianca. That whole situation, though, became more and more complicated. She was almost ten years younger then he was, not that that really mattered to him. The hardest part was that he felt as though he were leading her on because she didn't know everything that had happened to him in Paris. She would have to know one day.  
  
Shortly after dinner one night, Bianca came to Christian's room and knocked gently on the door. Christian opened it and of course invited her in. She sat down on the bed and Christian handed her a small stack of papers.  
  
"More poems? You've been writing so much lately." He smiled and nodded as if to say more than you think. "I do love reading them, though." She read the top one:  
  
Take the very breath you gave me  
Take the heart from my chest  
I'll gladly take her place  
If you'll let me  
Make this my last request  
Take me out of this world  
God please-don't take the girl  
  
"Didn't you have an appointment with the doctor today?" Christian asked her after a few minutes. She looked up from the paper and nodded. "Well, what did he say?" Bianca feigned an expression of sadness, but soon it changed as she began to speak.  
  
"He said that I am improving more now than I have in the past two years. It isn't gone yet by any means, but it is improving." She stood up and walked over to where Christian was standing. "I think I owe it all to you too." He laughed happily and hugged her for a long moment.  
  
"That is absolutely fantastic." He turned her around a few times still embracing her. He kissed her on her cheek. Bianca looked up into his eyes right after. He looked intensely into her eyes back. She leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. He kissed her back passionately. Finally, Bianca pulled away. Both looked at each other almost stunned as though they hadn't felt this coming all along.  
  
Neither said anything until she finally broke the silence. "I shouldn't have. I have to go." Bianca turned for the door and walked quickly back to her room. She climbed into her bed squeezing her eyes tight trying to shut out what happened. "Why did you kiss him?" She chastised herself. "You probably ruined everything."  
  
Not long after she heard Christian's familiar footfall enter the room. It was still early and normally she would have still been in his room had the incident not take place. Bianca pretended to be sleeping. She couldn't face him now. He didn't stay, however, but rather left another stack of papers on the foot of her bed. On top were the poems and under that was a large stack of papers held together. It was obviously a book. There was also a note.  
  
Dearest Bianca,  
I wish you hadn't left so quickly. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I care deeply for you, but there are things I have to tell, things that happened in Paris before I was sick. It would only be fair to you to know this before anything else happens. The book that I left for you is my story-well mine and Satine's story. Please read it.  
  
Love always  
(And I truly mean that)  
Christian  
  
She read every word of the story carefully, her heart breaking a little with each one. It was all to clear that Satine had been the love of his life. The hard part was determining what Christian had wanted her to learn from reading this. He didn't want to ruin their friendship, as he said, but was this his way of stopping anything else that could possibly come up.  
  
After a restless night of trying to sleep, Bianca walked listlessly toward Christian's room. She closed her eyes and knocked on the door waiting with baited breath for what he would say or do.  
  
"Bianca." She was silent. "Did you read it, then?"  
  
"Yes, Christian I did. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I am so sorry that that happened to you and to her." She felt the tears forming in her eyes, though she tried to keep her voice calm and level. "I don't know what to do now." Christian looked at her for a long moment when she had finished.  
  
"I don't either. But when we kissed.I knew that I had to tell you what happened so you would know." Bianca pressed her eyes closed. She couldn't hold the tears back anymore though and tears soon flowed down her cheeks.  
  
"I understand that you will never love anyone like that ever again and I don't expect you too, but I know that I am in love with you. Just like you couldn't stand losing your Satine, I know that I would never love anyone the way that I love you." Christian embraced Bianca lovingly afterward holding her body that was trembling with sobs.  
  
"No, you don't understand. I will never love some one in the same way as I loved Satine, but that doesn't mean that I couldn't love someone as much. And it doesn't mean that I don't. I only wanted you to know what had happened, everything that had happened. It was your right to know." He paused again. Bianca looked up at him with her teary eyes.  
  
"When I began to feel the way I do for you, I knew it was time to write Satine and my story for her and myself. I didn't want to believe that I could love again because I thought that would be like betraying Satine, but when I wrote down her final words and heard her saying that I had to go on because I had so much to give, I knew that I had her permission. She wanted me to go on."  
  
"Then you didn't give me that story because you wanted me to leave you alone." Christian shook his head as Bianca wiped tears away from her eyes.  
  
"No. I only wanted you to know the truth about how I came to be here. I love you, Bianca. I am in love with you." He leaned into her pale lips and kissed them gently. Neither pulled away this time and Bianca was now crying from happiness.  
  
"I love you too, Christian." She said after the kiss ended.  
  
~~~~~  
  
A/N: Any quotes or lyrics that are from other works I don't own (If you noticed then you know I'm not taking credit If you didn't no big deal) 


	7. Seven

Two more months passed. It was the beginning of spring and the world was coming alive for Christian again in more ways than one. His health like Bianca's was improving by leaps and bounds. They both had permission to walk the grounds and took long walks together everyday. One day, Christian would get unbelievably good news on all fronts.  
  
"Mr. James?" A nurse asked entering his room where he and Bianca were sitting. "A letter came for you today from London." Christian took the letter and thanked the nurse. He tore open the envelope carefully. A smile spread across his lips as soon as he read the words on the page.  
  
"What is it, darling?" Bianca asked trying to read the letter over his shoulder.  
  
"A publisher in London is going to publish my book and my poetry." He smiled at her happily.  
  
"That's so wonderful, Christian. You deserve it." She kissed him sweetly on the cheek.  
  
"Oh," Christian said suddenly remembering, "I have a doctor's appointment, I almost forgot. By the way, how are you feeling?" Bianca's health was never far from Christian's mind.  
  
"I actually have some news about that. I wasn't sure how to tell you, but I guess I can't keep it from you." Christian looked at her with immense concern. He couldn't take losing her the way he had lost Satine. That was the thing that scared him he most about falling in love.  
  
"The doctor.he told me yesterday that the disease is dormant. It means I'm still sick, but not contagious anymore and not getting worse. I'm being sent home." She said with sadness in her voice.  
  
"Darling, it is a miracle. I have wished that you would get better ever since I met you."  
  
"But I don't want to leave you, my love, my Christian. My parents are coming next week to take me home. I can't imagine living one day without you." Christian cupped her face with his hands.  
  
"It will be alright. No matter where you go, I will find you." He kissed her lovingly. "Walk with me to my appointment. I won't let you out of my sight until you leave." He took her hand and kissed it just before he let go to go inside.  
  
Bianca waited impatiently for Christian to return. She hated losing time with him. After a long while, he came out silently. "Well, how did it go?" Christian shrugged.  
  
"I was actually wondering. You know how you want to go to Paris?" Bianca gave him a puzzled look, but nodded. "Well, would you mind terribly stopping in England on the way?"  
  
"I'm confused."  
  
"It appears that I am going to be leaving too as my disease is also dormant." Bianca squealed with excitement. Christian continued. "Of course I have to wait to meet your family so that I can ask them and then we have to stop in England so that my family can meet my wife, but then I figure that we can go right onto Paris as you wished."  
  
"Wife?" She stared at him with an enormous smile on her lips. He nodded.  
  
"I always planned to marry Satine before I knew she was sick. When she died I never got the chance. I would never miss that opportunity again. It is fate that we are both well now and I don't know that I could have gotten better without you. Tell me you will marry me?"  
  
"Of course I will marry you. I never thought I would get better and then I met you. Everything was different after you arrived. I love you." She kissed him passionately. "Now I will get to spend the rest of my life with you." They walked back to Christian's room and laid together wrapped in each other's arms.  
  
"I wish I had a ring to give you." Bianca went to interject, but Christian kissed her so that she couldn't say anything. "As I was saying, when I leave I will buy you the most beautiful ring and I will propose to you again in a proper way."  
  
"It doesn't matter. I only want to marry you." She kissed him once more.  
  
Her parents arrived next week as scheduled. She didn't dread it as much knowing that she would still be with Christian afterward. Bianca and her parents went outside so that they could catch up. She was going to break the news about Christian before they went back in.  
  
"Mom, Dad, you know that I'm not a child anymore. In the time I have spent here and the time I was sick I grew up a lot. I've learned a lot about life and what I want mine to be like. Getting better means that I have the chance to spend my life with someone and I think I have met that person."  
  
"Honey, what are you talking about? Who could you have possibly met here? Some sick teenager who could never take care of you? Stop being foolish, Bianca. You're coming home with us." Bianca shook her head.  
  
"No. He's a writer and he isn't sick anymore. He is leaving as well and he wants me to go with him. He wants to marry me and take me to Europe." The Martins looked utterly shocked.  
  
"You can't be serious. You expect us to let you run off with a man to Europe?" Her father said.  
  
"No, Dad. I expect you and Mom to give me and that man your blessing to get married. Then I will be leaving with my husband to live my life with him." She paused. "I turned nineteen a month ago. I am an adult and can marry him regardless, but I want your blessing." Her parents looked at her with almost disbelief. She really had matured since they last saw her. They said nothing, though. "Will you at least come with me to meet him?" They consented and she met Christian where she told him she would.  
  
"Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Christian James." Bianca took a step to be next to Christian's side and she took his hand into hers.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Martin, it is a pleasure to meet you." Christian extended his other hand to her father. Mr. Martin accepted his hand after a long pause.  
  
"Yes, a pleasure." Bianca's mother added with an expression that clearly implied the opposite. "I most admit I did not anticipate my daughter getting engaged while in a hospital and to a much older man than I had intended." Bianca rolled her eyes impatiently. Christian was only about nine years older than her and she knew people who married men much older than that. Christian blushed a little. He didn't think that would be their number one concern.  
  
They went to one of the visiting rooms where families could visit with their sick ones in a homier atmosphere than the rest of the hospital. They talked about all of their concerns about the marriage, but Christian was able to supply answers to each.  
  
"Mr. James, how do you intend to care for a daughter? On what will you two live?"  
  
"That is a very understandable concern. I have just received confirmation that two of my books will be published and I will receive a substantial sum for both. My family, also, has a large estate in England and as the only male heir I stand to inherit a considerable amount." Christian tried to sound convincing especially on the last part. It was very likely that he had been disinherited, but they needn't know that now. He hated talking about money. Love was the important thing.  
  
"Dad, money is not the most important part of a marriage, love is. Besides, he obviously will take care of me."  
  
"And you intend to take her to Europe, away from her entire family?" Her mother added.  
  
"I plan to take her to Paris for our honeymoon and of course we will have to visit my parents in London so that they may meet my wife. It is up to Bianca to decide where we shall live; it does not matter to me. I would just as leave have her near her loving family." He wanted to add that they were the family that left her in a hospital for two years without seeing her.  
  
"It must be a proper wedding, near our home with all of her family and friends around. I will not have my daughter married without them around."  
  
"I would have insisted. I want her to have the wedding that she deserves and I think she deserves everything." The Martins looked at each other for a long contemplative moment.  
  
"Very well, Mr. James. You have our blessing to marry Bianca." Bianca hugged Christian tightly and kissed him on the cheek before doing the same to her parents. "Go with your mother then and collect your things. We will leave tonight for home as planned. Christian here will accompany us." Christian nodded. He had only been waiting for their arrival to leave and now he had his destination. 


	8. Eight

Christian was packing his things when he heard a familiar knock on the door. He opened it and promptly picked up Bianca and spun her around. "You look amazing, my love." He said to her. In fact, she did look quite different. Her luscious hair was elaborately put up and she wore a fancier dress than before. It was, also, obvious that she was wearing a corset judging by her enhanced figure.  
  
"Well apparently looks matter when one is no longer ill. I have to look presentable when we arrive home even if it is at midnight." She smiled at him. "At least, I'll always know that you didn't fall for me because of my looks."  
  
"Stop it. I always thought you were beautiful." He kissed her passionately for several minutes. "We better go. I wouldn't want to get on my future in-laws bad side too quickly." Bianca kissed him once more and then they were off. They stopped only to say goodbye to a few of the patients and the doctors.  
  
The train ride to the Martin Farm took only a few hours and the carriage ride to the farm itself only about an hour. Nonetheless, it was nearly midnight when they arrived at the house and yet the house seemed abuzz with activity. As soon as they entered the house, they were greeted by Bianca's sisters, Sara and Lydia, as well as her brother, Michael. Her grandparents and several aunts and uncles were there as well.  
  
Everyone wished Christian and Bianca well and everyone seemed to get along well. Before long, the relatives were leaving and Bianca was showing Christian to his guest room. It was quaint and cozy. Christian had never been in an American farm house before, but he liked it. Bianca seemed pensive, however. He placed his bags on the floor and his typewriter on the table planning to unpack in the morning. "Darling, is everything alright?"  
  
"Of course. It's just.I've waited so long to be home and it feels strange now. My sisters are practically grown up and my brother I barely recognize. It's feels awkward to talk to them because I barely know them. I don't know what I would do without you." She said leaning against his body for a minute. Christian embraced her and led her over to the bed.  
  
"Come here. You must be exhausted. You've barely had a chance to talk since you're parents arrived at the sanitarium, just tell me everything. You'll feel better." He said laying back onto the headboard while Bianca laid into his arms. She began to vent all of her problems to her loving fiancé. He soothed her mind with loving kisses. Unfortunately, they weren't used to being in a house where other people were concerned with their affairs.  
  
"Mother sent me to see if you needed any help, Bianca, but I see you already have that taken care of." Sara was only a year younger than Bianca and in the time she had been away Sara had evidently become quite formal.  
  
"Forgive me, Sara. I was just taking a moment to talk to my fiancé." Sara looked at her sternly. "Fine, little sister, I'm exhausted anyway. Goodnight, my love." She kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"Goodnight, love. Goodnight, Sara." Sara smiled curtly and practically pushed Bianca down the hall.  
  
"Try to remember that I am your older sister, Sara."  
  
"You think just because you were sick you can come back and do any manner of things with that man. Don't ruin my chances of being respectable just because you want to have a little fun with him." Bianca closed the door behind her carefully. A knock came, though, only moments later. She thought it was Christian, but it was her little brother Michael who was twelve and her sister, Lydia who was ten.  
  
"Hello you two. It's very late. Do Mom and Dad know you're here?" Lydia looked at Michael who shook his head no.  
  
"We just wanted to see you. It's been so long."  
  
"I know. I can't believe how big and grown up you two have gotten." Or how superior Sara had gotten she said to herself. They talked for a little while, but all Bianca wanted to do was go to sleep preferably in Christian's arms, but she would settle for anything. Finally, she got to bed when the little ones relented with all of their questions.  
  
Everyone warmed up to Christian as the weeks went on. Even Sara seemed to fall for his charm. There was of course some talk in the town about the pair. There was worry about them still being ill and then of course everyone mentioned the things that must have gone on at the hospital for a girl to come home with a fiancé. Christian and Bianca merely laughed at the talk, but her family was more than eager to get them married and off to Europe.  
  
The wedding was planned so as to include all manner of relatives and the town. When the day finally arrived Christian was astonished by the size of the ceremony. He hadn't anticipated it to be like this. He had always imagined his wedding would be small, but this was certainly different. He didn't care as long as Bianca was happy and all she cared about was that they would be married.  
  
Christian would never forget the image of Bianca walking toward him down the beautiful aisle. She was wearing her family's heirloom wedding dress that had been worn by her mother and grandmother and looked absolutely striking. Bianca felt tears of happiness forming in her eyes as she saw Christian looking as handsome as ever. After the ceremony, Bianca and Christian shared their first dance as husband and wife.  
  
"I love you. And I always will. No matter what happens over the years I am yours until the day die, Christian." Bianca whispered into his ear. He kissed her in return.  
  
"Are you ready to see Paris?" He said to her and she smiled at him.  
  
"I am ready to do anything. I have you." They left that very night aboard a beautiful ship the likes of which Bianca had never seen let alone stepped foot on. Christian had reserved an elaborate set of rooms for them. It seemed that his two books were selling so well that the publisher already wanted to publish another one. Christian had immediately sent more poems to put into another book. 


	9. Nine

Bianca was so proud of her husband and looked forward to every passing day. They spent the majority of the trip wrapped in each other's arms. They were finally free to be truly together and they cherished every moment of it. Days seemed to collide together in a blissful flow of happiness and love. Before Bianca and Christian knew it they were in England both nervously awaiting to meet his parents.  
  
"What if they don't like me?" Bianca asked nervously as they walked toward the door.  
  
"My mother and sister love everyone, don't worry, and my father, according to his letter, he's ecstatic that I've settled down and found a proper wife." Bianca playfully jabbed him in the ribs. "The real question is will they like me." Christian feigned a smile. He had barely spoken to them before he left for the sanitarium.  
  
Christian knocked on the door trying to look relaxed. Bianca squeezed his hand for support. "Hello, Mother." Christian said when his mother opened the door.  
  
"Oh Christian! Thank goodness you are well! And this must be."  
  
"This is my wife, Bianca." She smiled and his mother immediately embraced her.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. James."  
  
"Please, we're family. Call me Charlotte, dear." Charlotte summoned one of the maids to bring in their bags and put them in the room she had prepared for them. "Come in, come in." She smiled ushering them into the parlor. "I'll get your father, Christian and I believe Cecily is already waiting for you."  
  
Once in the door Cecily jumped out of her seat and ran to her brother whom she had missed so much fearing that he would die. She hugged him tightly. "It's so wonderful to see you. I was so worried when you left. I thought I'd never see you again."  
  
"There's nothing to worry about now Cecily, but there is someone you must meet. This is Bianca, my wife." Cecily squealed with delight and hugged her new sister in return.  
  
"Christian's told me so much about you. It's fantastic to finally meet you." Bianca flashed her perfectly sweet smile. Then it was the moment of truth when Charles entered looking as stern and gruff as ever.  
  
"Christian, you're well. That is good news. And this must be Bianca. It's nice to meet you." Bianca nodded and smiled still unsure how to proceed. "Christian, there is a small business matter I wish to discuss with you. Perhaps you could come with me while your wife gets better acquainted with Cecily and your mother." Christian nodded and followed his father out of the room.  
  
Once in Charles's office, Christian waited on edge for what his father needed to discuss with him. "Christian, it goes without saying that I was disappointed when you ran off. When you came back ill, it only proved to me more that you never should have gone. But now you have come back with a respectable albeit an American wife. You have proved that your writing was more than a folly you indulged in." Charles looked at Christian for a moment. "I know that you have no desire to become a doctor and run the practice, but I would like you to still inherit the estate. I wanted you to know."  
  
"Th.Thank you, Father."  
  
"I am happy you are well and I am proud of you, Christian." Christian was touched by his father's words. He had waited years to hear those words and had all, but given up on ever hearing them.  
  
When they went up to their room, Christian told the good news to Bianca. "That's so wonderful, darling. He should be proud of you." She could care less about the money. "I am." She added kissing him sweetly on the mouth. They stayed a week with Christian's parents. Bianca was welcomed into the family and got on brilliantly with everyone including the servants. Then it was onto Paris.  
  
They stayed in one of the finest hotels in Paris, which was only a few miles from Montmartre. Christian wasn't exactly sure how he would handle being back, but he wanted to show Bianca everything especially those things that mattered to him. He bought her several overly expensive dresses and pieces of jewelry. He was no longer penniless and he used his money to lavish affection on Bianca.  
  
Christian showed her his old garret and of course the Moulin Rouge. It was highly emotional and they returned to the hotel much more somber than they had been when they left. "It's so tragic, all the things that happened to you." Bianca whispered leaning on his shoulder as they approached the hotel.  
  
"It was, but being here with you is helping me to look back on those times and remember the good. I see what I have lost, but I also see what I have gained."  
  
"Always the poet." Bianca and Christian both laughed quietly. A moment later the happy couple bumped into one of the hotel maids.  
  
"I'm terribly sorry." Christian said turning to face the maid. He was shocked when he recognized her. "Nini? Is it really you?"  
  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't our very own Shakespeare. But then I guess our penniless writer isn't quite so penniless any more. And who's this then?" Nini said motioning toward Bianca.  
  
"This is Bianca, my wife."  
  
"Wife, eh?" Nini looked her up and down with a spiteful grin on her face.  
  
"How is it that you came to work here?"  
  
"A lot of the girls work here and in the like now. Once the Duke closed the Moulin Rouge, we didn't have any where else to go. It was this or the streets." Nini noticed that one of the managers was glaring at her. "Well, I have to be goin', Shakespeare." Nini walked away without another word. Bianca of course knew who she was from the book.  
  
While Bianca and Christian returned to their room, Nini stole away for a few minutes to give the news to a certain former courtesan. "You'll never guess who's staying here?" Nini asked Satine (A/N Did you see that coming???) who was busy cleaning one of the rooms. She had never been good at this kind of thing, but she was learning to get by.  
  
"I could careless."  
  
"No, I think you'd care a great deal about this person being here?" Satine turned to face Nini full on. "It seems our little Shakespeare has found his way back to Paris."  
  
"Christian."  
  
"Yes Christian and." Nini paused for a moment for effect. "And his very young, very proper looking, American wife." Nini laughed a little. "But I suppose you don't care about that." She turned on her heel and left an emotionally distraught Satine in the empty room.  
  
Christian and wife.The words circled in Satine's mind. She knew she told him to move on with his life and to give all the things that he had to give, but she thought she would die. She never imagined she would live to be waiting on him and his wife. She felt tears springing to her eyes. The last thing she ever wanted to do was see this woman face to face, but that might be inevitable. 


	10. Ten

Satine, please go to room 12 to help Mrs. James get ready. Apparently she and her husband will be going out this evening and she hasn't brought her own maid with her." Satine would have protested, but knew the manager was less than thrilled with her quality of work and she needed this job. Please don't let him be there, she prayed to anyone who might listen.  
  
Bianca greeted the maid when she came up. "I feel absolutely foolish asking for help getting ready, I've never had a maid, but Christian insisted that I have help getting ready tonight. To be perfectly honest I'm not used to being waited on like this. My husband is trying to spoil me." Satine nodded entering the room. Of course Christian was trying to spoil her that was his nature, to give everything to the one he loved.  
  
"I'm sorry, miss, what did you say you're name was?" Bianca asked as Satine helped her with her corset.  
  
"Sa.rah. Sarah." She smiled at Bianca trying to cover any jealousy in her voice. "If you don't mind my asking, how did you meet your husband, miss?" Satine tried to play the role of the curious maid.  
  
"Oh, well, Christian was from England originally and then he lived in France. He met a woman while he was here and loved her very much and probably would still be with her today, but she died of consumption. After she died, Christian found out he was sick and came to America for treatment. I was a patient there as well. We fell in love while we were there and married as soon as we both were well. The day we met he promised to take me to Paris so now we're here." Satine smiled, but her heart was breaking. She had gotten Christian ill. He could have died. Satine finished helping Bianca.  
  
"Do you need anything else, Mrs. James?"  
  
"Please call me Bianca. No, I'm sorry to have troubled you at all." Satine nodded sweetly and turned to leave. "Sarah, wait one moment." Bianca walked back to one of the nightstands and picked up some cash. "Here, take this." Satine declined, but Bianca was persistent. "I insist and my husband would as well." Of course he would, Satine thought, taking the money and thanking her. The thing Satine hated the most about the whole thing was that she knew under different circumstances she probably would have liked Bianca.  
  
Later in the lobby, Satine watched from the shadows as Bianca and Christian left the hotel arm and arm. Tears slowly stung her cheeks. She couldn't let him know she was alive.  
  
Once out on the streets of Paris, Bianca mentioned the maid who had helped her. "Sarah was her name. She was very nice. I feel so foolish being waited on. Making more work for the poor woman."  
  
"Darling, I want you to have everything I can possibly give you. Besides, you gave her money right. She wouldn't have gotten that if you had given it to her." He squeezed her shoulder on which his arm rested. "You are just so wonderfully caring." He said to her in a hushed voice.  
  
"Well, so are you, sweetheart. So are you." Christian took her to the fanciest restaurant she had ever been to. They ate a lovely meal and then danced well into the night. On there way back Bianca, though, suffered a minor catastrophe. While walking along the road her heel broke, every girl's worst nightmare when walking in heels. "Oh no." She said with a small laugh. "This is just wonderful." She took the shoe off and went to continue walking.  
  
"Come here." Christian said with a sly smile. "I'll just have to carry you then, my love." Before she could even protest, Christian took Bianca into his arms.  
  
"And who ever said chivalry was dead. This is so embarrassing." She said as she noticed the many bystanders looking at them. He laughed, but did not put her down. When they reached the hotel, Bianca continued to protest. "Honestly, put me down. Come on, we're in the hotel now." Christian shook his head no. They were both playfully arguing as they made there way through the lobby.  
  
"That should be me." Satine said sadly from a distance safely out of his view. Jealousy was beginning to take hold of her. It was beginning to sink in that Christian was really there. He was bound to someone else and it was his own choice. She had dreamt that if he ever married it would be to someone of his father's choosing or something of the sort, not because he was in love. Why did I tell him to go on.If only I had known.she thought to herself.  
  
Upstairs Bianca and Christian were carefully getting undressed. Bianca shivered slightly as she walked over to Christian. "The concierge said that one of the maids would be up with wood for the fire. At least it's warmer than Thornhill."  
  
"I don't know, Thornhill never felt that cold once you arrived." He kissed her fervently as a knock came on the door. "Come in." Bianca said knowing that it was the maid. Satine had walked in with the wood for the fire. Christian's back was conveniently turned to her.  
  
"Now, my love," His voice made Satine shiver. She almost forgot he wasn't talking to her. "We really need to decide where to go next. Do you want to stay in Paris on a more permanent basis or would you like to travel more? It is all up to you."  
  
"As much as I've always wanted to see the world and come to Paris, I miss America. Do you think we could go back there? We could live there and you could write another book. Maybe we could even start a family." Christian smiled at her lovingly.  
  
"I think that all of those things would be wonderful. I'll make the arrangements for our departure." He kissed her again. Satine knew this would be her only chance.  
  
"No!" Bianca looked at the maid.  
  
"Sarah? What's wrong?" Christian began to turn to face her.  
  
"Sa.Satine.This isn't possible.you died."Christian looked at her with immense confusion. This couldn't be happening. 


	11. Eleven

"Satine? The Satine?" Bianca asked in shock.  
  
"Yes. You see, I wasn't dead. I thought that I was going to die right then and there.my heart stopped. When the doctor came, I had started breathing again and he took me to a hospital. I wasn't really aware of what happened, but Harold sent me to a sanitarium before I was really that better. He didn't want the Duke to find me. When I was better, I wanted to find you, but you were gone. I didn't know what to do. I knew you must have done what I asked of you. I didn't want to make you regret anything you did." She looked at Bianca.  
  
Christian didn't know what to feel. He had managed to get over her and find another love. He had dreamt in the days following her death how he would feel if it had all been a lie, but now he felt differently. "Satine, please leave." Satine felt tears beginning to fall from her eyes. She stepped forward as did Bianca to comfort him. "Satine, leave. I need to talk to my wife and try to figure a few things out." Satine reluctantly left. "I don't know what to think, what to feel." He said to Bianca with pleading eyes.  
  
"Christian, I don't know if I can help you figure this out. You have to follow your heart. If your heart still belongs to her than you gave me something you never really could give. I love you and I always will no matter what happens. Even if I wanted to stop I don't think I could. But, I read your story. I know what you felt for her and I don't know that you feel that way about me knowing she is alive." Bianca paused trying not to break down into sobs. She removed her engagement and wedding ring and placed them in his open palm. "You have to decide who these really belong to." Bianca kissed his cheek for a long moment and then left.  
  
Satine was waiting not far from the door tears streaming her face. Bianca walked over to her with a tear stained face. "I think he may be all yours again." She began to shake with sobs and walked past her. Satine followed, though.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for anything to happen. I didn't even know what was happening."  
  
"Why didn't you even tell him you were sick? If someone else hadn't told him, he could have died without even knowing until it was too late. I watched him when he arrived at the hospital. He was heart broken and had all, but given up. Where were you when he almost died one night? I know where I was that night. I was sitting next to his bed begging him to wake up"  
  
"I would have if I knew where he was. I would have found him. I would have."  
  
"Taken him away from me. As you very likely will do tonight."  
  
"I can't help it if he loves me more." Bianca was ready to burst and had to do everything in her power not to slap Satine. Bianca chose to make a more ladylike exit.  
  
"And I can't help it if he can't see the heart ache that lies with you." Bianca said back bitingly. She made her way to the lobby and sat trying not to sob in a way that was too noticeable.  
  
Christian tried to get everything straight in his mind. He had loved Satine and she had died. Now he loved Bianca and had married her. He couldn't walk away from either and couldn't have both. "Why does my heart cry."He said to himself softly. He looked at the rings in his hand. "I will love you till the end of time." He took a deep breath and stood up. He paced across the room trying to gather his thoughts, but he already knew he had made his promise.  
  
He walked past Satine in the hall who in turn followed him into the lobby. Bianca was still sitting there crying softly. She saw Christian approaching and felt her heart breaking as Satine also came closer. "I think I understand."She said trying to control herself.  
  
"No you don't." Christian knelt down beside her. "These belong to you." He placed the rings back on her finger. "I love you and you are my wife. Nothing."He looked at Satine. "Nothing can change that." Bianca threw her arms around him.  
  
"I love you." Satine began to walk away not sure that she could bear anymore as Bianca kissed him.  
  
"Christian, go talk to her."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I trust you and I should have realized how much before." Bianca said. "I'll be upstairs when you're finished." He nodded and followed the direction that Satine had gone. "Satine? We have to talk about this."  
  
"Talk about what? There is nothing to say. All of those things you said to me meant nothing. Come what may.Just lies. I should have known better." She yelled at him.  
  
"I never lied to you once. I loved you in a way that I will probably never love another living thing no matter how long I live. I meant every single word I ever said to you, but then you told me you never loved me. That was one lie and then you told me you were dying, yet here you are. I can't bring myself to believe that there was no way to tell me you were alive before I even left Montmartre. We aren't the people we were anymore. I love Bianca and it's true that she was there for me when I needed her, when my heart was breaking and I nearly died. I will love you until the end of time, but I will be spending the rest of my life with Bianca, whom I love as well."  
  
"If you weren't married would your choice have been different?"  
  
"It doesn't matter. The fact is I am married to a wonderful woman and that isn't likely to change anytime soon." This time Christian walked away leaving Satine heart broken and devastated. He loved her. He knew that, but too much had changed to make it possible for them to be together. He had changed too much. Christian returned to his room and found Bianca still a little on edge. 


	12. Tweleve

"I need to know one thing, Christian." Bianca paused, but left no time for him to answer before continuing. "Are you staying with me because we are married or because you honestly chose me over Satine? I can not bear to have you bound to me in hatred or to be thinking of her when you are making love to me."  
  
"Darling, I would never do that to you. I love you and I have chosen you because I met and fell in love with you. I honestly believe that you are the one who saved me that night when I couldn't breathe. You brought me back. You saved my life." Bianca began to cry once more, but they were happy tears this time. "No more tears, my love. We are over our biggest obstacle now. I promise you. I think we should leave in the morning, though. How does New York sound?"  
  
"Marvelous." She said with a smile.  
  
They didn't see nor speak to Satine again. She was dead to Christian. His Satine was long gone and her Christian was just as dead. They went to New York and set up a home in the heart of the city. Christian was busy writing plays that ran in the top theatres. They lived comfortably, but something was missing. Bianca and he both wanted to have children and though they had been married for almost two years, she had yet to have a child. She finally turned to a doctor.  
  
"You had consumption, is that right?"  
  
"Yes, for just about three years, but it's gone now." She pleaded with him. He shook his head.  
  
"While your health in that respect is fine, I think that it has left you unable to bear children. Sometimes the rough treatments and the weakening of the body can have this effect. I'm terribly sorry." Bianca looked up at him in a daze.  
  
"Thank you.I have to go tell my husband." She stood to leave and walked all the way back to the apartment. He was sitting at his typewriter. She didn't know that she knew the words to tell him. By choosing her over Satine he may have given up any chance to have a child.  
  
"Darling, what's the matter?" She looked at him with sad eyes. "Where were you? What happened?" Christian wrapped her in his arms. "You're trembling. Please tell me." Bianca nodded.  
  
"I.we.I.I can't have children. I went to see a doctor today because I was worried. He said it's probably from being sick. I'll understand if you want to go and find Satine."  
  
"Don't be foolish. It isn't your fault. If it is the illness that made you incapable of having children it is very possible that I can't help in the matter since I was sick as well. It's alright. I don't mind having you all to myself and we could always adopt a child. Whatever you want, I only want you to be happy."  
  
"I'm sorry.I was worried you would hate me for this."  
  
"Never and it isn't your fault. I love you more than anything in this world. I swear." He kissed her for a long moment.  
  
"I was over reacting. It was just such a shock." Christian calmed her down with kisses.  
  
"And besides, it doesn't mean we have to stop trying." Bianca hit him playfully.  
  
"Right." When Christian had returned to his typewriter, Bianca decided to lay down since she was feeling tired. She figured it was just from being so upset. She slept for a long time and then Christian came to wake her for dinner.  
  
"Darling, are you feeling alright?" Bianca smiled at him. He worried so much about her.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine, just tired. I'll be down in a second, I promise." She gave him a sweet smile and began to freshen up once he was out of the room. She honestly wasn't very hungry. She'd felt this way for a few weeks now and had hoped she was pregnant, but the appointment proved that wasn't it. She took a deep breath and suddenly felt it catch in her throat.  
  
Bianca felt that familiar stab in her chest as coughing rocked her body. She reached for a handkerchief and covered her lips. She moved the cloth only to see what she had already anticipated. Blood.  
  
"I knew you weren't alright." Christian said sadly from behind.  
  
"I thought you had left."  
  
"I heard you coughing. And now I see this. How long has this been happening?"  
  
"This is the first time I've coughed. I was tired and not really hungry, but up until today I thought that I was pregnant. Now I know that isn't an option and I know that I'm sick again." Tears were already rolling down her cheeks. Christian wiped them away with his hand.  
  
"We'll get you the best care possible. You'll get over this again. You are the strongest person I know. We'll get through this." He held her close. "I'll call Thornhill and get you a room and. and." Christian didn't know what to say. He couldn't go through this again, for real.  
  
"Shh.Christian, they told you the same thing they told me when you left. If the disease recurred it was highly unlikely that you would recover again. I don't want to die in Thornhill. I want to be with you living my days to the fullest." Christian shook his head.  
  
"I can't accept that. I can't. This can't happen." Bianca looked at him quietly.  
  
"When you were with Satine, you didn't know she was sick and you two were so happy. Then when you thought she died, you knew and she knew that she had had the most wonderful days possible. I want that. I want to be in your arms until the day I die." She pleaded with him. Christian relented.  
  
"I'll never let you go then." He held her close and lead her over to the bed laying down with her. Bianca rested her head on his chest. Christian stroked and kissed her hair taking it all in scared to lose her. "I don't want to lose you, my love. I don't." 


	13. Thirteen

"I'm scared of not being with you. I can't even remember what it was like before I met you. I don't want it to end so soon." She said her voice wavering a little.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to go to Thornhill? Maybe they could do something for you." Bianca shook her head. "Alright, I won't take you there then. I promise it will be just the way you want it to be. Do you want to tell your family?"  
  
"I should. They probably won't come, but I'm afraid they might cause trouble."  
  
"I will do whatever you ask me to. I won't let them near you if you don't want them to be." Bianca kissed him several times and held close to his body.  
  
"Can I tell you what I used to fear the most before the incident in Paris?" Bianca said to Christian. Of course he knew what incident she was talking about. He shook his head. "I was afraid that I would die and never see you again. I thought that if there was a place where lovers are reunited after death, I was sure that you would be with Satine and I would be alone." She said in almost a dreamy tone.  
  
"You'll never be alone. I love you and I will find you no matter what.no matter where." He kissed her once more and held her a little tighter. "Do you want to get some sleep? I'll let you get some rest, if you want."  
  
"No. I want you to stay."  
  
"Alright, but you have to get some rest. I love you."  
  
"I love you."  
  
Bianca's health faded rapidly. Everyday that Christian sat by her or held her, he saw that their time was running out. Even though, Satine had not actually died, it had been so sudden when he thought she died. He didn't like watching her die. He sent for a doctor one night when he feared she was nearly gone.  
  
"If I were to bleed her now it would finish her.she is beyond my help. I suggest you say your goodbyes before she loses consciousness." Christian listened to the doctor and tried to stay calm, but he could already feel the tears staining his cheeks. He went in to sit by her.  
  
Bianca looked at him with half closed eyes and spoke to him with a rough voice. "I want you to know that this has been the happiest time of my life. I could never love anyone the way I love you and I am glad I don't have to try. I want you to be happy. I don't know what that will be for you, but I want you to find it. No matter with who, no matter where. Celebrate what we had and don't spend the rest of your life mourning me. Live for me." He leaned down and kissed her.  
  
"I promise. I love you."  
  
"I know.and you know I love you." She held his hand and not long after she was gone. Christian sat by her bed well into the night and in the morning the funeral preparations were under way. Bianca's family came and comforted their son-in-law. Christian was distraught and had plans to return to England for a while. The Martins asked that he keep in touch and he agreed.  
  
His family was welcoming and tried to comfort him over the loss of his lovely wife. He struggled for months to understand why he had once again lost his love. Maybe he was meant to be alone. He sat at his typewriter and wrote a story. It was a about a girl who had been through more bad things in her short life than she deserved. Then it told of the time when she met a man who loved her and helped her get well. And then they were parted, but their love lived on.  
  
Christian wanted to get away for a few days once the book was finished and try to gather his thoughts. He decided to go to Paris. It was there that he had realized that he truly loved Bianca. He wouldn't stay long, just long enough to relive those wonderful moments. "Christian, may I go with you?" Cecily asked him the day before he left.  
  
"Of course. If it is alright with Mother and Father. I probably shouldn't go alone." He also wanted to spend some time with his beloved sister before he returned to New York. Christian hadn't told anyone of his plans, but he wanted to be near Bianca. His parents agreed and they left.  
  
It was almost harder for Christian to return to Paris this time. It felt so strange to have lost so much and still live to return. Cecily loved Paris and had loved hearing all about Christian and Bianca. He mentioned Satine a few times, but his thoughts were on Bianca, completely. Montmartre seemed as lifeless as ever and he was petrified of seeing Satine, but of course it was inevitable.  
  
"Christian?" The voice called from behind him as he walked through the village with Cecily.  
  
"Satine." He turned slightly uncomfortable, but tried to give her a small smile. She smiled back. Christian remembered that Cecily was standing beside him. "This is my sister Cecily. How are you?"  
  
"Fine. I have a better job than last time we saw each other. How are you and your wife?" She tried not to flinch when saying the last few words.  
  
"Bianca.Bianca died several months ago."  
  
"I'm sorry, Christian, truly I am. I always wanted you to be happy." Christian shrugged. His eyes already stung from mentioning Bianca. Cecily knew as well as anyone who she was, but was surprised to see a small boy hiding behind her  
  
"Who is this?" Cecily said sweetly smiling at the boy. Christian noticed for the first time that there was in fact a child behind her. He was taken aback especially since the boy looked as though he were about four years old.  
  
"This is my son, Benoit." Satine picked the little boy up. She looked at Christian for a long moment. "Our son." She said in a quiet whisper. Christian couldn't believe it. 


	14. Fourteen

"You're so full of surprises, Satine. It seems like every time I see you, you find something new to tell me that you should have told me in the first place." Benoit was looking at both of his parents unsure of what was going on.  
  
"Satine, why don't I take Benoit for a walk while you and my brother discuss this?" Satine didn't want to confuse Benoit so she agreed to let him go with Cecily.  
  
"Christian, it isn't my fault. I should have told you when I saw you last time, but after our confrontation and your sudden departure I couldn't. And then here we are four years later from when I had Benoit and I still barely know what to do." Satine looked at Christian for some kind of response. His eyes looked distant and so incredibly sad.  
  
"Bianca, wanted to have a baby, but they said she couldn't because she was sick, which I don't understand because you were sick too.She thought she was pregnant, but she was sick again. When she found out she told me to come find you so that I could have a child that she could never give me. And now I come here and you say that she was right and that you have my child."  
  
"I told you how sorry I am. Things have gotten so incredibly out of hand. I can't lie to you."Christian nearly laughed out loud and rolled his eyes. Satine noticed, but continued. "I can't lie to you and say that I wanted you to be with Bianca. If things worked out the way things should then we never would have been parted, but they didn't. That said, believe that I wish you and Bianca had had the happy ending. You do have a son, though, one who should know his father."  
  
"I don't know how long I am staying. I want to go back to New York. I won't leave him consciously. Maybe it would be better for us not to tell him who I am."  
  
"Why do you want to leave Paris? You used to love it so much."  
  
"Things change, Satine, and my wife's family is in America. We were very happy in New York and I think I should be close by. I'm working on having another book published too."  
  
"You don't want to know your son?" Christian didn't want to hurt her, but there was only one way to say this.  
  
"I don't want to know you."  
  
"I see. Very well then, I'll leave you alone then. I'll go after Cecily to find Benoit." Christian hesitated, but decided to follow her anyway. Things needed to be worked out.  
  
"Satine, wait.We have to talk this out more. I'm still reeling from being told that your son is my son and I'm still having a rather hard time with Bianca's death. Let's just sit down over there," Christian motioned toward a nearby café, "And talk." Satine nodded still upset from what he said.  
  
"I didn't even know I was pregnant until well after I was gone. I would have told you if I knew before hand. I had Benoit in the sanatorium and Harold and Marie took care of him until I was well. Then I came back here with him and got the job at that hotel where I saw you. How about you explain some things to me? How is it that you came to be married?" Bianca had given her a brief idea of it, but Satine wanted to hear it from Christian.  
  
"I was devastated after you supposedly died. I was falling apart and didn't really care. Then I started getting sick and word got around that you had consumption so then I knew what was wrong. I went to my father and he arranged for me to go to America. I thought I was just going there to die. I wanted to, but then the first person I met was Bianca. She was only eighteen, but she acted so much older, wiser. I tried to just be friends with her, but then I knew that you wanted me to move on so I didn't know what to do. Then one night, I nearly died. She snuck away and stayed with me all night until I woke up and then everyday after. She showed me what it meant to love someone again.  
  
"Coincidentally, we were both released at the same time and her parents were on there way to get her. I promised her we wouldn't be parted. We had been so close just before that time. I couldn't bare to lose her so I asked her to marry me as I always wanted to ask you. I went with her and her parents and we were married there. She dreamed of seeing Paris so after my book was published I took her to Paris on our honeymoon." Christian knew that he had reached the end of the story at just the right moment or he would have lost it completely. "She was my world and now she's gone."  
  
I know how you feel about me, Christian, but you do have a son. Your world doesn't have to end because she is gone. Benoit will always be your son and I will always love you." She said reaching for Christian's hand, but he pulled away.  
  
"Bianca, told me to live for her, but I'm not finished mourning her yet. I don't know that we could ever have each other back, but I know that I can't be with anyone now. I need to go home. I promised her parents I would keep in touch with them so I want to go see them soon as well. I don't want them to think ill of me because now I suddenly have a son and another woman in my life. I wouldn't do that to them or her. When I'm ready I'll come back, but that doesn't mean I expect you to wait for me. I may never be ready." Satine nodded.  
  
"I see. I will wait for you. I'll wait forever if I have to." 


End file.
